Finding Rest

Even though it is only just the middle of August, my summer is sadly coming to an end. I have had an amazing time working as a counselor for the past 10 weeks and my heart breaks knowing that I have finished my time serving at this beautiful place. Its no surprise that I am coming out of these few months changed; I have new experiences under my belt and many new life lessons learned.

One of the biggest and most life-changing things I have learned this summer has been how to find rest in God despite the circumstances that I am in or the expectations that I have for my life. I can't count the number of times that I found myself in situations where I had absolutely no idea what to do or how I was ever going to have the strength to keep going. Counseling is hard. Each week I had eight new girls to lead, guide, entertain, teach, and care for. I heard story after heart-breaking story from their lives at home and had to accept the fact that I couldn't change anything about it. I created my own expectations for how I thought the week should go, only to find out that I couldn't be farther from reality. I set limitations for what I thought God could do in the camp and in my own heart. At times I became discouraged, frustrated, empty, and hopeless. There were many days when I even wondered how I was ever going to make it to the end of the week.

What I learned was that I'm not in control and, honestly, I'm really glad that that's the case. I saw that it wasn't solely dependent on me and how I performed, but that everything was already in God's hands. I learned that it was so incredibly good to be fully dependent on God. Now I want to make it clear that I am not simply accepting my circumstances or not caring about what happens, but instead resting in the assurance that God knows more than me and that I can trust Him to do what is right and good regardless of how I feel. Over and over again I have been able to watch God do the exact opposite of what I had originally expected to happen and then experience firsthand all of the good that came from it. Over and over again I have found myself at the end of my rope, tired and discouraged, only to find that God faithfully fills me back up with the life and joy that I need to continue serving Him. Now, when a situation becomes something that I myself can't handle, I can remember that the God I serve is great and powerful, will never leave me, and I can rest completely in Him.